How To: Approaching Frustration

This week I faced my first experience of doubt. On Monday we spent 90% of our time hoeing a field of beets, strawberries and carrots. It only flashed through my mind momentarily as I acknowledged the burning sensations in my shoulders from the repetitive movement. I found myself wondering how individuals can do this work everyday, whether on their own farm or on another's just for a miniscule hourly wage. As the work day came to a close and I was falling asleep, all I could see behind my eyelids was the hoe cutting through the roots of the morning glory and thistle guided by the handle and my hands - over and over and over. Hoeing that day did not make me feel as though I was incapable of farm work but it was one of the first times that I felt the physical exhaustion WHILE working - instead of afterwards. Wednesday supplied us with a nice reprieve from the repetitive motions that David works very hard to keep us away from. We spent the majority of the time harvesting and washing produce which is always the most satisfying. These are the days that I will come back to in my path toward handling the frustration that comes with some duties of the farm.
It was then Thursday afternoon when Jessie and I were given the tasks of clearing JUST the thistle out of the beet and cabbage rows. It sounds very simple in theory and it really is fairly mind-numbing if you allow it to be - in practice it proved to be the most mentally trying task we had faced since beginning our journey at becoming "knowledgeable". When I was feeling this creeping sensation of anger come across my skin and spine as I felt the burning prick from thistle after thistle, I began challenging myself as to how I can make this enjoyable. This was a task that needed to be done and no part of me wanted to do it. As the frustration would wane and crest as the amount of thistle in a single area would grow and fade I began finding my emotions to be hilarious. I was actually physically, mentally and emotionally ANGRY at these damn thistle! I even said to Jessie, "if this thistle had a face it would be punched many times". This was a product of my tolerance for pain decreasing, the air becoming hotter and time passing and it all was out to get me - I was sure of it.
Looking back on the emotions I was feeling during the thistle extraction I have reflected on how I am to move forward from those feelings of frustration with farm work and how I can apply it to the rest of my experience. One of the main motivations I found from that afternoon was that I am allowed to be annoyed at what I am doing. That is what motivates a farmer to get out on the fields every day and weed for hours is so they can NOT have the experience of pulling mature thistle out of a delicate beet row. Everything that we do at Gaining Ground and at any organic farm is fight the forces of nature with raw endurance. From this trying afternoon - and week for that matter - I have had the realization that farm workers and owners - as long as they are fighting the constant attacks that come from organic farming - have the most patience out of any other job. To be able to fight the battle but never quite win the war - day after day - would require serenity beyond belief or one heck of a sailors mouth. I hope that I am able to muster half the patience that these individuals carry at some point in my life but hopefully before I enable my dream of owning my own farm.